13

13 days until Outlaw and I am having my first full on proper actual panic! It’s irrational as, at this stage, there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. My brain needs to switch into ‘you’re as ready as you can be mode’ and I just need to relax into the day. It’s strange really because on Friday I had my best ride probably ever with a 74 miler in 4hrs 40 mins including 3 food breaks. I stopped to eat to replicate the fact that unlike last year where I ate constantly during the ride, this year I will have to stop, de hood and eat and then get going again. I felt really strong throughout and busted the final 2 mile stretch of my ride without dipping below 22mph (on a stretch I’ve struggled in the past to get above 20mph!). My fuel was marmalade sarnies and bananas, water, gel/water combo and a sneaky Coke!

I was confident after Friday that I was bike ready and would not suffer the same problems I faced on the ride last year. All I had to do was get a 15-18 mile run in on Saturday and a good swim on Sunday and I would have no worries to juggle in the final 2 weeks. Of course I let myself down again! I didn’t run on Saturday but levelled it with myself that I would do it Sunday. I didn’t! For that I am a Twat! (as my training plan is littered with Twat reminders!)

Weird how such a high has become such a low! Weird too because I was buzzing having received my printed Morphsuit. The feedback from everyone has been brilliant.

The Outlaw symbol on the face and the Pirate arms are spot on, all the bits and bobs I wanted on it are there. I wanted a nod to the Pirates for last years finish support. I also wanted to mention @Ironholgs & @Bungleduck both of whom have recently announced their retirement on medical grounds from Ironman!

I added a bit of Blackadder Goes Forth humour with a General Melchett quote which I find particularly apt with my poor preparation. It's something for the masses to read as they lap me!

The doer of deeds speech is on my right thigh deliberately upside down so I can read it while riding (even though I probably can't see that clearly to read it of course but it is still a comfort to have it there!)

I have some personal stuff on my left. 26 refers to the 26^th anniversary of the death of my mom being 27^th June 1987. It is not lost on me the close proximity of Outlaw to this date. The Latin phrase means Pride Confidence Heart and Happiness in reference to Mrs B and she and the rugrats are of course my main source of strength! 13 is just my lucky number (although I couldn’t convince Outlaw to assign that number to me - I am 605 btw). No Morphsuit is complete of course without a quote from Bono!

I tried the suit on and in my humble opinion I reckon it looks pretty good if a little scary (some have said!). I did have a brief panic re visability but that was resolved with a Poppyfields Zumbathon Morphsuit warm up on Saturday. Vision OK just might need a cap under my cycle helmet to shade the sun.

Another positive was receiving loads of encouragement from everyone about tackling the event in the Morphsuit until a message from Outlaw themselves on FB suggested that despite me having cleared it with Outlaw before entering the event I may be stopped by a course referee. I specifically got permission from Outlaw and the BTF before entering and then training for the purpose of tackling Outlaw in the suit. That means my training is tailored to completion through determination rather than balls out speed to complete as fast as I can. I have asked Outlaw to let me know if there are any problems but I think this potential spanner in the works at this late stage has thrown me. I hope it comes to nothing!

Another problem is I didn’t swim last week! I know I know I’ve only myself to blame. I’ve not got Suit 1 (Morphswimsuit) into OW yet! This week was supposed to focus on OW swim having sorted the bike and run demons but with me having failed on the run front I now find myself concentrating on both swim and run with issues I should have resolved weeks ago at a time when I should be just ticking over. It’s fair to say I haven’t learnt from last year at all and I have nothing but admiration (tinged with jealousy) for all of you preparing properly, sticking to plans and making the necessary sacrifices to get to Outlaw and be the best you can possibly be!

It’s been pointed out to me recently that I have become a bore in general since giving up booze! Looking at my blog I am beginning to bore myself with the ups and downs, the repetition, the insecurity, the self loathing, the momentary highs, the self inflicted lows! The only saving grace will be if I can walk away from this years Outlaw as proud and humbled as I was last year and that will ultimately rely on whether I achieve my goal of raising £10,000 for Birmingham Childrens Hospital.

I should probably keep most of these thoughts to myself but sometimes the only way to face and overcome my deficiencies is to write them down and have them stare back at me! It then becomes a challenge to overcome them. I am now waiting patiently for the next up which will probably come when the run and swim butterflies are dispelled and the switch in my brain has switched!